But after coming home and watching this update on Travis Mills's recovery, I feel somewhat ashamed at what I label or classify as a "bad day." He actually writes off losing all his limbs as his "bad day" or having a "case of the Mondays." He is such a true inspiration-- words cannot really describe how amazing I think he is. And I have no doubt, as he mentions in the interview, that he will help and continue to serve others through teaching and/or motivational speaking.
So, be like me... and bookmark that video. That way, when I (or you) have a bad day... we can be smacked back in to perspective.
And although it's nearly the end of the day, I came home from work beyond determined to find a cure for the "badness" that ensued today. So, in addition to watching that above-mentioned clip, I decided to go against my normal, post-work routine and surround myself with All That is Drew.
We all have our rituals during deployment. Ask any military spouse-- they will probably be able to share quite a few things he/she does daily during a deployment. Call us superstitious if you'd like, but I like to see it as holding on to the very special thoughts, items, and processes that help us get through every single day our loved ones are in harm's way.
With that being said...until today, only my close friends were aware that I haven't slept in our master bedroom since the week Drew deployed. I've almost treated it like a museum... wanting to keep everything the way Drew left it. Preserving All That is Drew. The blue jeans he wore the day before he deployed are still lying on the bathroom floor, with the belt still in the belt loops. His loose change is still sitting around on the nightstand. His hand-written, pre-deployment packing lists are still on the sink in the bathroom. Everything is pretty much as if he'll be home any minute... to carry on our lives together.
I've even informed him that I refuse to wash his very full basket of laundry until I know he is en route home safely. (Nothing has smelled too badly... yet!)
So, tonight... while I was hanging out in our room with high hopes that Drew's presence would cheer me up, I opened his night stand drawer.
I found a little notebook that I gave him in August 2009-- right before he deployed to Afghanistan the last time. I hand-picked and hand-wrote pages and pages and pages of my favorite quotes-- quotes that I thought would help him get through his days (good or bad!) I also wrote him a letter-- encouraging him to write in a journal while he was gone.
But what really made me just laugh, smile, and cry the most was the 2 pages I labeled as:
"20 Things I Love About You"
- Your panda bear eyes
- The way you get your shower sponge all sudsy
- How you think you're the "Alpha Male" around all dogs
- The "musky" smell of your car. --> (Now my car!)
- The way you look in New Balance tennis shoes
- Your monkey ears
- Your "Mr. Rilllleeeeyyyy" voice --> (that's our dog!)
- The way you say 'member instead of "remember"
- How you look in your uniform
- Your smile (small teeth!)
- The fact that you don't snore
- The way you make the bed and fold clothes
- Your left handedness
- Your hands
- Your "trademark pose" in pictures
- The scar on the back of your head
- Your handwriting
- How well you chop veggies when we cook
- Your snuggles, even when you annoy me --> (I like my personal space. :) )
- Your love, patience, kindness, support, and companionship... to me.
I feel so much comfort knowing that ALL 20 of those items still hold true... nearly 3 years later. If you know Drew, you will understand and appreciate most of these. And if you don't know Drew-- just know that this very small moment in my day... turned it from Bad to Good.
I know you can find your "moment" too. And as I always encourage and say with any advice that I give...
... Find It... and Go There.