The Sun Always Shines After the Rain

I've had a bad day. All around.

But after coming home and watching this update on Travis Mills's recovery, I feel somewhat ashamed at what I label or classify as a "bad day." He actually writes off  losing all his limbs as his "bad day" or having a "case of the Mondays." He is such a true inspiration-- words cannot really describe how amazing I think he is. And I have no doubt, as he mentions in the interview, that he will help and continue to serve others through teaching and/or motivational speaking.

So, be like me... and bookmark that video. That way, when I (or you) have a bad day... we can be smacked back in to perspective.

And although it's nearly the end of the day, I came home from work beyond determined to find a cure for the "badness" that ensued today. So, in addition to watching that above-mentioned clip, I decided to go against my normal, post-work routine and surround myself with All That is Drew. 

We all have our rituals during deployment. Ask any military spouse-- they will probably be able to share quite a few things he/she does daily during a deployment. Call us superstitious if you'd like, but I like to see it as holding on to the very special thoughts, items, and processes that help us get through every single day our loved ones are in harm's way.

With that being said...until today, only my close friends were aware that I haven't slept in our master bedroom since the week Drew deployed. I've almost treated it like a museum... wanting to keep everything the way Drew left it. Preserving All That is Drew. The blue jeans he wore the day before he deployed are still lying on the bathroom floor, with the belt still in the belt loops. His loose change is still sitting around on the nightstand. His hand-written, pre-deployment packing lists are still on the sink in the bathroom. Everything is pretty much as if he'll be home any minute... to carry on our lives together.

I've even informed him that I refuse to wash his very full basket of laundry until I know he is en route home safely. (Nothing has smelled too badly... yet!)

So, tonight... while I was hanging out in our room with high hopes that Drew's presence would cheer me up, I opened his night stand drawer.

I found a little notebook that I gave him in August 2009-- right before he deployed to Afghanistan the last time. I hand-picked and hand-wrote pages and pages and pages of my favorite quotes-- quotes that I thought would help him get through his days (good or bad!) I also wrote him a letter-- encouraging him to write in a journal while he was gone.

But what really made me just laugh, smile, and cry the most was the 2 pages I labeled as:

"20 Things I Love About You"

1. Your panda bear eyes
2. The way you get your shower sponge all sudsy
3. How you think you're the "Alpha Male" around all dogs
4. The "musky" smell of your car. --> (Now my car!)
5. The way you look in New Balance tennis shoes
6. Your monkey ears
7. Your "Mr. Rilllleeeeyyyy" voice --> (that's our dog!)
8. The way you say 'member instead of "remember"
9. How you look in your uniform
10. Your smile (small teeth!)
11. The fact that you don't snore
12. The way you make the bed and fold clothes
13. Your left handedness
14. Your hands
15. Your "trademark pose" in pictures
16. The scar on the back of your head
17. Your handwriting
18. How well you chop veggies when we cook
19. Your snuggles, even when you annoy me --> (I like my personal space. :) )
20. Your love, patience, kindness, support, and companionship... to me.

I feel so much comfort knowing that ALL 20 of those items still hold true... nearly 3 years later. If you know Drew, you will understand and appreciate most of these. And if you don't know Drew-- just know that this very small moment in my day... turned it from Bad to Good.

I know you can find your "moment" too. And as I always encourage and say with any advice that I give...

... Find It... and Go There.
  

Adventure Is Just Bad Planning

I've always been a planner.

Planning my day through checklists and benchmarks; planning my weekend with friends; planning dinner parties, theme parties, and house parties; planning my future career and planning my future family. Planning, planning, planning.

Becoming an Army Wife was not part of my plan.

I went through my Life envisioning my future (as we all do.) I graduated high school with honors, graduated from the University of Georgia with a business degree and a dream, and then graduated from grad school with an MBA... and a bigger dream. My Life was on track-- on my plan...

...Until 4 years ago this weekend.

As everyone knows, today is Memorial Day. A weekend in which I usually take an extra day off work and head to the beach, the lake, or a backyard with a pool. It marks the beginning of summer. It's always been one of my favorite weekends... probably because of the fun memories that I've experienced over this long, holiday weekend.

I'm slightly embarrassed that Memorial Day weekend didn't hold more meaning to me than the BBQ, beer, and bronzing that I experienced... until 4 years ago.

I never would have imagined that I'd become part of an exclusive club the One Percent and become humbled by Memorial Day... and every day on the calendar for that matter... until 4 years ago.

And I definitely would have never imagined that I'd spend Memorial Day experiencing anxiety and worry from a weekend full of deployment "Missions" and "Communication Blackouts"... until 4 years ago.

4 years ago this weekend, I was en route to Panama City Beach, FL. A weekend of fun in the sun was in store for me, as it usually was Memorial Day weekend. Upon our arrival to the beach, my sister Paula and her friend Cassie convinced me that we needed to have a night on the town. I was tired after a full day of work and a 4.5 hour drive, but for some reason, I found the energy to join them.

We randomly met a group of guys at a local bar. We ended up hanging out with them for the next 5 days, which in turn, became one of the most memorable weekends of my Life...

...4 years ago is when I met my husband.

4 years ago is when my Life changed forever... and when my Plan was thrown out the window.

I think back to that weekend a lot. I think about the Sunday on the beach, when our newly formed group of friends was enjoying the surf and sand, but my future husband was no where to be seen. When I asked one of the other guys where Drew snuck off to, he stated that he needed some time alone... to think and reflect. I didn't really "get it" back then. But Drew went to think and pray for some of his friends he had lost during his 15-month deployment to Iraq... just a few months earlier.

Drew was celebrating Memorial Day... the right way. (And when he returned to the group after some time away, he came back with flowers for us girls to wear behind our ears.) :)

And now, 4 years later, my Life is so different.

I'm so honored, appreciative, and grateful for what I have. I'm so proud that I now "get" what Memorial Day is all about. I'm so humbled by those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.

And sure, my Memorial Day weekends from here on out will still consist of the beach, backyard, or BBQs with friends and family. But, I can... and will... silently reflect on the true meaning of the holiday.

And no matter what your plans are, or where Life takes you... I hope you will do the same.

Strength Training 101

Back when I was young, my sisters and I seemed to roam the streets day in and day out. Whether we were riding our bikes, playing roller hockey, basketball, or four square...or driving in our go-cart or jumping on the trampoline, we seemed to grow up strong-- with thick skin. And I, particularly, seemed to be able to handle "rough and tough." Whether I was falling out of a tire swing 20 feet in the air, crashing off my bike on a sleep hill, or getting pushed over by a neighborhood boy while rollerblading... I seemed to be able to get right back up and keep on going. (My sister, Susan, will still blame my clumsiness on my left handedness.) And I've got lots of scars to prove all the "fun" I had. But regardless of my faulty attributes, I always claimed to be a "strong" girl. As I continued to age and mature, I still found myself hanging with the guys-- holding my own. Physically or mentally, I was always up for a challenge-- with quite the mouth that wasn't afraid to stand up, speak out, and show how "strong" I was.

And now, I realize... I didn't know what Strong was until this year. I've hit new lows (and thankfully new highs, too) that I never thought I'd encounter. I can confidently say that I've experienced every emotion possible in the last few months:

Worry. Anger. Fear. Dread. Sadness. Happiness. Relief. Excitement.

And there are just a few people out there that know the extent of my last few months. For about 3 weeks time, I wondered what I did to deserve such bad news. Such heartache. Such disappointment. It's hard not to get mad and question everything in your Life when you keep getting thrown curve balls-- curve balls with spikes and spines! Ouch!

Details aren't necessary.

But what is necessary is the fact that I discovered the Strength to get through it all.  And no matter who you are, or what you're going through, you can too.

And since it's been nearly 4 weeks since my last blog entry, I figured tonight couldn't be more perfect to write... again. After all, Drew just finalized his re-enlistment today.  Many have asked me today, "What?! WHY would he do that!?" And I just smile. Sure, he may have sold his soul to Uncle Sam for yet another 6 years (8 years down!), but I couldn't be more proud of his Strength to do so. Think about it: Only a small portion of our One Percent choose to make the Army their career and commit their lives-- and their families' lives-- to the Military.

But let's face it-- One Percent or not, Life is hard. Crisis will enter in our work, our relationships, our finances, or just our day to day struggles. But despite it all, we all will find the Strength. The Courage. The Motivation... to get through it all.

But, how?

Well, that's a great question. And while we're all different people, with different personalities, and different problems, we can all make sure we have the following locked and loaded in our arsenals:

• Your Faith. No matter what or who you believe in--turn to it. And Believe.
• Your Family. Blood or not, make sure your support system is on call 24-7.
• Your Friends. Whether they deliver ice cream or take you to the gym (maybe after the ice cream?)-- use them to keep busy and maintain your normal, everyday Life.
• Your Fortune. And I don't mean your monetary wealth. Remember all the good that is still in your Life and be continually grateful for it....

And you just have to remember:

It. Will. Get. Better. No. Matter. What.

So, who knows. Maybe those days in the "streets" did help me become a Strong person. But whether they did or didn't, I've come a long way... and I'm proud of how Strong I've become...

And I bet that I can still play a mean game of four-square...

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn."

Sail Away With Me, Honey...

It's Thursday night, and I don't quite have the strength to post an all-inclusive blog about my insanely crazy week. Not yet anyways. But I'm sure the strength will come with time.

But I do want to briefly write about Nostalgia. And the power that lies within the sights, smells, and sounds of our memory. The images that can take us back to a place we yearn for. The mental images that can be more powerful than any photograph or video can do justice.

Out of nowhere this week, a song popped in my head. I do consider it one of my all-time favorites, no matter what new music enters my Life. I do have it on my mega-list-of-songs on my iPod. But I hadn't heard it in quite some time. Until tonight.

I had thought about it multiple times this week, but I just hadn't taken the time to play it. To listen to it. To remember the power it holds for me.

But I asked myself: Why did the song pop in my head this week?

And now I know. After the week that it's been, I now know that my subconscious was trying to take my back to a happier place.

A place that will always mean more to me than any other physical place on this planet. A place where I have the most positive memories in my life. And most importantly, a place where I met the Love of my Life.

The Beach is that place for me. The Coast. The Ocean. The Shoreline. Heaven on Earth.

My mind takes me there more than any other place. Too bad my mind can't rack up frequent flyer miles.

I've spent many years-- many springs, many summers, and even Chrstimas at the Beach. I could sit here and fill this blog with many images-- many pictures-- of my favorite beach memories. But what I want to focus on is how powerful one's mind can be, especially in a time of stress.

And this week, my mind did exactly that when it was thinking of this song. It did exactly that to bring me closer to Drew.

And I must admit that Drew believes in more things than I do. He has more dreams and more goals than I do. I, sometimes, limit myself too much with reality.

And now in his absence, I'm starting to realize how powerful his thoughts and beliefs are. How I need his positive thinking-- his dreams-- when I'm struggling through Life.

And this week... his Dream entered my subconscious with this song. And if you know him well enough, you know his Dream:

He would love to get a sailboat...live a meager, yet satisfying, life, and sail those waters that mean so much to both of us. And even though I'm crying as I type this, I'm laughing too. Because again... if you know him well enough, you've heard his sales pitch: "I'll fish; you (Linda) can cook potatoes. Riley (our dog) would love the boat... and so would our babies." And then, if you were in that taxi cab with us on the way to the Atlanta Braves game a few years ago, you would have shared our laughter when a wee-bit-intoxicated-Drew claimed he wanted to live "under the sea." Just like SpongeBob. :)

So there you have it, my friends. Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Find your happy place... and go there.

  

Sunday Share: 4/15/12

It's been exactly 112 days since the last time I've seen my family. In all of my (soon to be) 29 years of living, that's the longest I've ever gone without blessing my family with my presence.

And I miss them. I miss "home." Even though I'm approaching 2 years living at Fort Bragg, it's taken me a while for me this realize that home really is where the heart is. And I guess, after much denial, I've realized... I'm home.

I spent a lot of today reflecting... as I always do on Sundays. And my theme for tonight's Sunday Share fell into place without having to look very far. After this week's series of events, I'm starting to realize something else more and more. And I've always known it-- I just haven't had to quite utilize it, (and REALLY appreciate it), until this week:

Friends are relatives you make for yourself. ~ Eustaches Deschamps

So, despite my absence from my blood family these last few months, I've never felt more loved. More complete. More part of a Family.

And I have some proof-- some evidence-- of how amazing these people really are.

Upon awaking from my much needed nap this afternoon, I found that I had not one. Not two. But three text messages from three friends. All supportive, encouraging, and full of love.

I found this one too good not to share:

11:13am
I am sitting on my back deck reflecting, and I just wanted you to know that I think you are an absolute beautiful person both in and out! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Amazing. And I wondered what I could have possibly done to deserve such loving words.


Then, a few hours later, I turned to Facebook and saw two more amazing items that a friend posted:

Here is an incredible photo taken from my army wife friend's husband's platoon. One of their platoon's soldiers was severely injured and yesterday was his 25th birthday. Last night I got to hang out with some of these amazing ladies, toast to our heroes, and recreate our own supportive photo, and really feel lucky enough to share what being Army strong is all about.

Now, how powerful is that!?

And, the same friend, references the very same thoughts in her blog. And she finishes it up with the perfect catch phrase: "There's strong, and then there's Army Strong. This is what ArmyStrong is all about."

These are just a few examples of how powerful, rewarding, supportive, compassionate, caring, loving, and amazingly awesome my friends family is.

And that, my friends, is what I want to briefly talk to you about this evening.

We are all human beings. We all crave love and affection. And in the absence of our blood family, I think having a support system of friends-- true friends-- is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves.

So, not matter who you are-- military or not-- works towards this. Find your home... no matter where you live physically. Make sure you surround yourself with friends that will build you up and support you, no matter how weak of a foundation you have. Start small. One person can make the difference in your life. And remember: Family isn't just about blood and shared chromosomes-- it's bigger, wider, deeper than that.


And lastly, I want to share our Family Photo from yesterday. I know I usually don't post pictures on my blog, but when you have an amazing family like I do... it's hard not to "Bragg."

Slow Ride... Take It Easy...

Today is Friday, the 13th.
And today is also one of the first days that I've had Writer's Blogger's Block. Don't get me wrong-- my mind has been FILLED with thoughts, emotions, ideas, advice, quotes, and lessons. But nothing felt quite write right to share. Until tonight.

As much of a nutcase that I can be on some days, (I'm sure Stacy, Tori, Crystal, and many others would agree to this statement), I'm actually quite the rational person. And when it comes to my blog, I want it to feel right before I put pen to paper-- or, finger to keyboard.

I could have blogged about how nervous I was on Tuesday. It had been quite a few days since I had heard from Drew, and I just knew something didn't feel right.

I could have blogged about how I was up most of the early hours of Wednesday, after finding out about an unfortunate series of events that left 3 of Drew's platoon mates, (Ryan Theriot, Brandon Fessey, and Travis Mills), seriously injured-- with Travis suffering the worst of the injuries and losing all of his limbs from stepping on an IED in Afghanistan.

I could have blogged about how I spent all of Wednesday, home from work, trying to reason and understand and accept how something so horrid could happen to someone I know. And how my heart ached beyond belief for his wife, his 4 month old baby, their families... and our other soldiers who were there.

I could have blogged about how I went back to work on Thursday, still heavily distracted, depressed, and worried for all those involved. Or I could have mentioned that, despite the circumstances, we do not and will not have control over such situations, and we must push through the obstacles and stay strong for our soldiers and for those that need our support.

But I do need to take a moment to thank and recognize my friends and family, colleagues, and support system-- for their love and compassion. Because, although we may never truly understand how it feels to be those families of Ryan, Brandon, and Travis, we do mourn and empathize with them. Wholeheartedly.

So, that brings us to today: Friday the 13th.

I was damned determined to make it a good day. Yes, I find myself superstitious at times, but I was going to make conscious effort to ensure my day was happy, worry-free, and as normal as possible. And it was today, when my mind slowed down a bit, and I finally realized after the most-mega-rollercoaster-ride of a week... what I would blog about.

But before we get started, let's talk about Fayetteville.

Ahhhh, lovely Fayetteville, NC. You gotta love it. Award winning All-American City. It's close to the beach; it's close to the city; it's close to the mountains. It's home to the largest Army Installation in the world-- Fort Bragg.

It's also home to me, Linda Mills, the most annoyed Fayettevillian (I have no idea if that is even a word). And I am the most annoyed person in town thanks to the potpourri of citizens that call Fayetteville home. And with their lovely presence comes their lovely driving skills. Or lack thereof.

Every day, I drive down All American Expressway and Cliffdale Road on my way to work. Yes, I'm usually running a few minutes late. Yes, I like to get to where I'm going and wouldn't consider myself a slow driver... but holy moly!, I've never experienced such bad, FAST drivers in my life.

And it blows my mind. These people want to drive 80 in a 45 and rush to the next red light less than a quarter mile away. That's even if they can SEE that the light is red. And if they do, it doesn't matter to them. It's green in their world...

So after me really wanting to survive Friday the 13th, I slowed down more than I usually do and started my thinking...

 People really need to slow down... not just on the roads, but in Life in general.

Everyone's in such a rush to get through the day, and they seem to move through Life only with their agenda on mind. We're rather selfish creatures if you ask me.

And it's not until after a loss, a tragedy, or a life-changing event that people really realize how grateful they truly should be or realize how wonderful something or someone was until it's too late.

And, lately for me, I feel like an outsider looking in. I try to appreciate everyone and everything in my life during this deployment. And as high strung, Type A, nutso that I am... I really have been trying to make a conscious effort to slow down.

So, now I'd like to share a story about part of my day today:

I was coming back into Fayetteville after taking a trip out to Raeford for some work obligations. After surviving the journey on the autobahn I like to call the "401 Bypass to Hell," I stopped in Wal-Mart over my lunch break. While browsing the greeting card section to find some cards of encouragement to send to those above-mentioned families, I looked up and was extremely startled by a gentleman that approached me.

He was an older man. With very inquisitive eyes. He was standing a little too close for my comfort. My first and only instinct was "Fight of Flight?!" I immediately chose Flight, of course, but was stopped in my tracks for some strange reason. We stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime.

I really don't know what motivated me to actually slow down, stop, and appease this gentleman. I feel like the "old" Linda would have brushed him off and ran down the next conveniently located greeting card aisle. But I didn't. I let myself process his presence, despite what felt to be an awkward eternity.

I never caught his name, but he basically wanted me to help him choose the "right" cards for many occasions: His wife's best friend's birthday, which was belated (April 1); his anniversary; Mother's Day; and the death of a cousin.

His wife had just had cancer removed for the 2nd time. She missed her best friend's birthday. She insisted that her husband NOT pick out a belated birthday card because that "just wasn't right." She wanted him to pick out a card about friendship. Then he wanted to pick out a perfect card for his wife for their anniversary and for Mother's day. At this time, he proceeded to tell me his life story about how he and his wife met:

They were in 9th grade. Friends which later developed into more. Upon graduation from high school, he joined the Navy and they went their separate ways. She married a man, a Colonel, who was abusive. I don't know if they divorced or he died, but my new friend and his long-lost love were reunited at their 35th High School Reunion in South Carolina. He exclaimed that it took him 4 more years of talking every day on the phone for him to convince her to marry him.

Now they're married. And she's apologizing for the Cancer. He shook his head at the thought of her ridiculousness.  

I spent upwards of 15 minutes with this gentleman. And at the end of the conversation, his attention turned to me for the 1st time. We started talking about the reason I was there. And what cards I was buying. I gave him a one-sentence run down of what happened.

He bowed down a bit... and thanked me.

He disclosed that he felt I had one of the hardest jobs in the world. He said that he went to Vietnam twice, and it was no concern to him until his little brother went. He said, "when we're over there, us guys know that we just need to get our butts back home. But it's you wives that have to worry about us and everyone else."

We talked for a few more minutes about the military and how proud we both are.

And now I know why I didn't use my "flight" instinct. I knew God presented him to me for a reason. He wanted me to slow down and listen to this man's story-- a story that would uplift me and make me feel gracious. And to remind me of what I had been saying all week to many others-- about the roles the families play; about the War the the families fight back home. My life; my week-- was coming full circle. 

And to wrap up my Friday the 13th, I had the honor and privilege to speak with Tom Sileo, with The Unknown Soldiers. I got to tell my story; Drew's story; our story. I got to represent the One Percent in the most wonderful of ways. Tom plans to use my words-- my experiences-- my opinions and emotions-- my passion and pride of the U.S. Army-- and share them with the rest of the world in his nationally syndicated newspaper column.

Now, how cool is that?!

So, I allowed myself a lot of time tonight to digest this week's events-- good and bad. And it hit me...

...And it's rather simple:

Slow down. Enjoy Life. Appreciate Life. And, as we say in the South: Be Blessed.

Sunday Share: 4/8/12

Happy Easter Sunday, Everyone!

I've had yet another reflective, mind-stimulating Sunday. I've started to notice a trend:

Sundays seem to be the day I miss Drew the most. I'm not sure if it's just the normal "Sunday Blues" amplified or the fact that I find myself lost in my Solitude-- being more reflective on Sundays.

Well, whatever the reason, I've come to find out that the metaphor of "Life is a rollercoaster ride" seems to prove true all week, with the grand finale taking place on Sundays.

So let's start at the beginning, in order to give the best insight of how and why I'm here tonight:

I woke up late today, thanks to some night-time cold medicine. I was groggy, hazy, and rather congested... which aggravated me. My very first, instinctual action every morning is to look at my phone to see if Drew has e-mailed/Facebooked/or called while I was sleeping.

My phone showed nothing. Not even the daily Groupon email. (My half off hydro-massage offer came just a few moments later, though.)

Anyways, after a quick check of my daily websites and a browse of my Facebook newsfeed, (which lacked any "activity" from all our Soldiers), I came to my conclusion, which is only a "hunch," but has deemed to be true most days:

Damn it. They're on another Blackout.

Those in the Ninety-Nine Percent might be wondering: What is a Blackout?

Well, a Blackout is when the Soldiers aren't allowed to communicate with anyone. No emails. No phone calls. No Facebook. It means someone has been injured or killed and communication is banned until the Next of Kin is notified of those affected.

And this deployment has already been a nightmare. It feels like we go only a few days before another Blackout is activated. And while Drew and I have a very, VERY strict "Don't Ask; Don't Tell" relationship about deployments, I'm not dumb. I'm observant and can figure it out. They're seeing a lot of action. They're involved in a lot of dangerous missions. It definitely ain't a walk in the park.

And I'm not divulging this information to have people worry. Or feel sorry for me. I'm just trying to set-up tonight's theme for the Sunday Share. So, without further ado....

What is your Fear?

And how do you overcome it?

But you know me, I must provide a little more back story before diving in any deeper. Of how and why I came to theme tonight's post about Fear. And how to overcome it.

So, as we've already stated: It's Easter. A holiday in which we spend with friends and family. I definitely had my fair share of Solitude this weekend. I didn't even leave Fort Bragg. I didn't interact with anyone in person except for at the gym or in the grocery store. Major Solitude. Hell, who am I kidding. I was down right lonely this weekend. But I did everything possible to keep myself busy: Cooked, shopped, worked out, cleaned, read many books, watched many TV shows and/or movies.

And as much as I enjoy my solitude, (See last week's Sunday Share), sometimes too much is a bad thing. Sometimes so much alone time can cause you to thrive on your Fears.

And since my blog is supposed to be cathartic for me, I'm going to share with you what my Fear is. But I warn you that you may laugh:

I fear the doorbell.

Yup. I fear the doorbell getting rung.

But why, you may ask? Because the doorbell being rung might indicate that my husband has gotten killed in Afghanistan. If the doorbell rings, there's a chance that a Casualty Notification Officer stand on the other side... waiting to bear the bad news.

I know, depressing right? I'm not even sure I should tell you that I jump anytime I hear a car door shut nearby. That I run to the bedroom window or look out the peep hole if I think someone has pulled up near my house. My mind has convinced me that if, God forbid, that were to be the case, and a Casualty Notification Officer does come to my house, that by me seeing them walk up to the door, will be less devastating than hearing the doorbell ring without any prior knowledge.  (Please, don't judge me!)

And my doorbell got rung yesterday. And I nearly lost my heart through the ends of my toes. I wasn't expecting anyone. I don't know my neighbors. I didn't order pizza. So who is ringing my doorbell?

I literally RAN to the door because I couldn't bear the anticipation for another millisecond.

Thankfully, it was just my neighbor asking if I had any jumper cables. And while I was outside searching through my trunk for the cables, I was literally shaking. Arms. Hands. Knees. Legs. Shaking like it was below freezing out. I wonder if he noticed...

So there you have it. You know my current Fear. And honestly, it's the only Fear I have at this moment in my life. I Fear or worry about nothing else. I can handle a lot of adversity. I can overcome many obstacles. I consider myself a strong person... a strong Army Wife. But we all have our weaknesses...

... and I cannot get over my damn Fear of the doorbell.

Until tonight. Well, sorta.  

I had just come inside after relaxing for a few hours on the patio with a new book. I got some much needed sun. And although relaxing, I just couldn't seem to feel really good or right today. I really wanted to hear from Drew. He always recharges me and rebuilds my confidence.

So, I was thumbing through the guide on TV when I saw that on the OWN channel, Oprah had a Lifeclass on Fears, with Tony Robbins.

And, as usual, the right messages and lessons enter my Life just as I needed them. I decided to pull out my laptop and jot down some notes as I watched.

Everyone had their story. We all have our stories. We all have something we can't overcome. Whether it be a failure, a tragedy, or a fear. Tony Robbins helps people Walk on Fire-- literally and metaphorically. And I could sit here and type for hours, making this entry a lot longer than it already is. But I won't. I wanted to share just a few highlights that I thought would be beneficial for all:

• We all have a Story. We all have a State of Mind about that Story (i.e. Fear). But what a lot of us are missing is our Strategy. How do we plan to overcome it? What actions are we taking to change our State of Mind about our Story? Because, the Story will always be there. But we can all change our State of Mind to be a positive one.
• Fear is a physical emotion. But so is Courage. And so is Energy.
• Massive motion can overcome any (negative) emotion. Get moving. Literally. Physical movement can do a lot for your emotional well being.
• Everyone's life is a warning or an example. But you must live your life to overcome any adversity or fears. Learn from it. And move on.
• Turn your Fear into Power. It has the same intensity. It's just a matter of perception. And action.

It truly opened my eyes. I'm not naive enough to think that I won't have my Fears, but I recognized that there are methods and techniques to overcome them and turn them into positive energy.

And while I pride myself in staying busy and active, I know there's always something more I can add to my life. And I did find something new tonight that I plan to try. And do... Everyday. But I'm going to keep you guessing about what it is. I've already put myself out there enough tonight. And while my Fear isn't so personal anymore, I think my journey to overcome it should be. :)

I know this post has all kinds of back stories and ramblings, but I hope it helps each of you realize that it's OK (and natural) to be Fearful... but it's even better to be Powerful.

And lastly, I want to end with another great quote from Joel Osteen on this Sunday evening:

Trouble is inevitable, but misery is optional.