The Sun Always Shines After the Rain

I've had a bad day. All around.

But after coming home and watching this update on Travis Mills's recovery, I feel somewhat ashamed at what I label or classify as a "bad day." He actually writes off  losing all his limbs as his "bad day" or having a "case of the Mondays." He is such a true inspiration-- words cannot really describe how amazing I think he is. And I have no doubt, as he mentions in the interview, that he will help and continue to serve others through teaching and/or motivational speaking.

So, be like me... and bookmark that video. That way, when I (or you) have a bad day... we can be smacked back in to perspective.

And although it's nearly the end of the day, I came home from work beyond determined to find a cure for the "badness" that ensued today. So, in addition to watching that above-mentioned clip, I decided to go against my normal, post-work routine and surround myself with All That is Drew. 

We all have our rituals during deployment. Ask any military spouse-- they will probably be able to share quite a few things he/she does daily during a deployment. Call us superstitious if you'd like, but I like to see it as holding on to the very special thoughts, items, and processes that help us get through every single day our loved ones are in harm's way.

With that being said...until today, only my close friends were aware that I haven't slept in our master bedroom since the week Drew deployed. I've almost treated it like a museum... wanting to keep everything the way Drew left it. Preserving All That is Drew. The blue jeans he wore the day before he deployed are still lying on the bathroom floor, with the belt still in the belt loops. His loose change is still sitting around on the nightstand. His hand-written, pre-deployment packing lists are still on the sink in the bathroom. Everything is pretty much as if he'll be home any minute... to carry on our lives together.

I've even informed him that I refuse to wash his very full basket of laundry until I know he is en route home safely. (Nothing has smelled too badly... yet!)

So, tonight... while I was hanging out in our room with high hopes that Drew's presence would cheer me up, I opened his night stand drawer.

I found a little notebook that I gave him in August 2009-- right before he deployed to Afghanistan the last time. I hand-picked and hand-wrote pages and pages and pages of my favorite quotes-- quotes that I thought would help him get through his days (good or bad!) I also wrote him a letter-- encouraging him to write in a journal while he was gone.

But what really made me just laugh, smile, and cry the most was the 2 pages I labeled as:

"20 Things I Love About You"

1. Your panda bear eyes
2. The way you get your shower sponge all sudsy
3. How you think you're the "Alpha Male" around all dogs
4. The "musky" smell of your car. --> (Now my car!)
5. The way you look in New Balance tennis shoes
6. Your monkey ears
7. Your "Mr. Rilllleeeeyyyy" voice --> (that's our dog!)
8. The way you say 'member instead of "remember"
9. How you look in your uniform
10. Your smile (small teeth!)
11. The fact that you don't snore
12. The way you make the bed and fold clothes
13. Your left handedness
14. Your hands
15. Your "trademark pose" in pictures
16. The scar on the back of your head
17. Your handwriting
18. How well you chop veggies when we cook
19. Your snuggles, even when you annoy me --> (I like my personal space. :) )
20. Your love, patience, kindness, support, and companionship... to me.

I feel so much comfort knowing that ALL 20 of those items still hold true... nearly 3 years later. If you know Drew, you will understand and appreciate most of these. And if you don't know Drew-- just know that this very small moment in my day... turned it from Bad to Good.

I know you can find your "moment" too. And as I always encourage and say with any advice that I give...

... Find It... and Go There.
  

Adventure Is Just Bad Planning

I've always been a planner.

Planning my day through checklists and benchmarks; planning my weekend with friends; planning dinner parties, theme parties, and house parties; planning my future career and planning my future family. Planning, planning, planning.

Becoming an Army Wife was not part of my plan.

I went through my Life envisioning my future (as we all do.) I graduated high school with honors, graduated from the University of Georgia with a business degree and a dream, and then graduated from grad school with an MBA... and a bigger dream. My Life was on track-- on my plan...

...Until 4 years ago this weekend.

As everyone knows, today is Memorial Day. A weekend in which I usually take an extra day off work and head to the beach, the lake, or a backyard with a pool. It marks the beginning of summer. It's always been one of my favorite weekends... probably because of the fun memories that I've experienced over this long, holiday weekend.

I'm slightly embarrassed that Memorial Day weekend didn't hold more meaning to me than the BBQ, beer, and bronzing that I experienced... until 4 years ago.

I never would have imagined that I'd become part of an exclusive club the One Percent and become humbled by Memorial Day... and every day on the calendar for that matter... until 4 years ago.

And I definitely would have never imagined that I'd spend Memorial Day experiencing anxiety and worry from a weekend full of deployment "Missions" and "Communication Blackouts"... until 4 years ago.

4 years ago this weekend, I was en route to Panama City Beach, FL. A weekend of fun in the sun was in store for me, as it usually was Memorial Day weekend. Upon our arrival to the beach, my sister Paula and her friend Cassie convinced me that we needed to have a night on the town. I was tired after a full day of work and a 4.5 hour drive, but for some reason, I found the energy to join them.

We randomly met a group of guys at a local bar. We ended up hanging out with them for the next 5 days, which in turn, became one of the most memorable weekends of my Life...

...4 years ago is when I met my husband.

4 years ago is when my Life changed forever... and when my Plan was thrown out the window.

I think back to that weekend a lot. I think about the Sunday on the beach, when our newly formed group of friends was enjoying the surf and sand, but my future husband was no where to be seen. When I asked one of the other guys where Drew snuck off to, he stated that he needed some time alone... to think and reflect. I didn't really "get it" back then. But Drew went to think and pray for some of his friends he had lost during his 15-month deployment to Iraq... just a few months earlier.

Drew was celebrating Memorial Day... the right way. (And when he returned to the group after some time away, he came back with flowers for us girls to wear behind our ears.) :)

And now, 4 years later, my Life is so different.

I'm so honored, appreciative, and grateful for what I have. I'm so proud that I now "get" what Memorial Day is all about. I'm so humbled by those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.

And sure, my Memorial Day weekends from here on out will still consist of the beach, backyard, or BBQs with friends and family. But, I can... and will... silently reflect on the true meaning of the holiday.

And no matter what your plans are, or where Life takes you... I hope you will do the same.

Strength Training 101

Back when I was young, my sisters and I seemed to roam the streets day in and day out. Whether we were riding our bikes, playing roller hockey, basketball, or four square...or driving in our go-cart or jumping on the trampoline, we seemed to grow up strong-- with thick skin. And I, particularly, seemed to be able to handle "rough and tough." Whether I was falling out of a tire swing 20 feet in the air, crashing off my bike on a sleep hill, or getting pushed over by a neighborhood boy while rollerblading... I seemed to be able to get right back up and keep on going. (My sister, Susan, will still blame my clumsiness on my left handedness.) And I've got lots of scars to prove all the "fun" I had. But regardless of my faulty attributes, I always claimed to be a "strong" girl. As I continued to age and mature, I still found myself hanging with the guys-- holding my own. Physically or mentally, I was always up for a challenge-- with quite the mouth that wasn't afraid to stand up, speak out, and show how "strong" I was.

And now, I realize... I didn't know what Strong was until this year. I've hit new lows (and thankfully new highs, too) that I never thought I'd encounter. I can confidently say that I've experienced every emotion possible in the last few months:

Worry. Anger. Fear. Dread. Sadness. Happiness. Relief. Excitement.

And there are just a few people out there that know the extent of my last few months. For about 3 weeks time, I wondered what I did to deserve such bad news. Such heartache. Such disappointment. It's hard not to get mad and question everything in your Life when you keep getting thrown curve balls-- curve balls with spikes and spines! Ouch!

Details aren't necessary.

But what is necessary is the fact that I discovered the Strength to get through it all.  And no matter who you are, or what you're going through, you can too.

And since it's been nearly 4 weeks since my last blog entry, I figured tonight couldn't be more perfect to write... again. After all, Drew just finalized his re-enlistment today.  Many have asked me today, "What?! WHY would he do that!?" And I just smile. Sure, he may have sold his soul to Uncle Sam for yet another 6 years (8 years down!), but I couldn't be more proud of his Strength to do so. Think about it: Only a small portion of our One Percent choose to make the Army their career and commit their lives-- and their families' lives-- to the Military.

But let's face it-- One Percent or not, Life is hard. Crisis will enter in our work, our relationships, our finances, or just our day to day struggles. But despite it all, we all will find the Strength. The Courage. The Motivation... to get through it all.

But, how?

Well, that's a great question. And while we're all different people, with different personalities, and different problems, we can all make sure we have the following locked and loaded in our arsenals:

• Your Faith. No matter what or who you believe in--turn to it. And Believe.
• Your Family. Blood or not, make sure your support system is on call 24-7.
• Your Friends. Whether they deliver ice cream or take you to the gym (maybe after the ice cream?)-- use them to keep busy and maintain your normal, everyday Life.
• Your Fortune. And I don't mean your monetary wealth. Remember all the good that is still in your Life and be continually grateful for it....

And you just have to remember:

It. Will. Get. Better. No. Matter. What.

So, who knows. Maybe those days in the "streets" did help me become a Strong person. But whether they did or didn't, I've come a long way... and I'm proud of how Strong I've become...

And I bet that I can still play a mean game of four-square...

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn."