I wasn't planning on writing my blog tonight, but after receiving the best anniversary "gift" from my sister, Susan, I felt the need to share it with the rest of the world.
Two years ago today, Drew and I got married. Just a few days after our nuptials, he went back to Afghanistan for the remaining 6 months of his year-long deployment.
Two years later, he's back en route to a similar destination.
As disappointing as it is on the outside, it becomes expected (and often humorous) how the Army will find (many!) ways to rip you away from your loved ones on the days that are supposed to mean the most. I say "supposed to," because once you're in the 1% (i.e. Military families), then all days become:
Special. Precious. Worth celebrating.
So, while we may spend many days apart... we spend more days together that are special to the 1%.
I leave you tonight with my "gift." It came wrapped in a simple, short text message, but it put a big, cheesy grin on my face:
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
~from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Now, ain't that special?
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Sunday Share 2/26/12
Although I've only had a few hours of sleep, I woke up refreshed... rejuvenated. I woke up with a smile on my face. (Delirium, you ask!?)
No, but I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation.
For those of you who know me well, you know that, albeit good characteristics, I'm also: A cynic; a realist; and often times a pessimist <-- what I like to pawn off as "realism." :)
So, why the upbeat attitude today? Well, the countdown has begun. The horrid anticipation has ended. We're already one day closer to them being home (just ignore the fact that there may be 254 more of "days" like these.)
Don't get me wrong-- I'll have bad days. Really, really bad days. When worry, negativity, and anger will set in. I've already had a tinge of bitterness yesterday. I was jealous that so many of you out there were enjoying your Saturdays with friends and families-- doing fun, light-hearted activities. I wanted to stomp my feet like a temper-tantrumed 4 year old, stating for all to hear: THIS. IS. NOT. FAIR.
Then I stumbled into some perspective today on Joel Osteen's Blog. The grass isn't always greener. I figured if it helped me, it could help anyone out there. So here is my Sunday Share. (The full blog is available on www.joelosteen.com)
__
I don't personally believe the grass is greener on the other side; I believe the grass is greener where you water it. In other words, we have to tend to the things that are inside of us if we want to see our lives blossom and grow. If you want better relationships, you have to invest in the people around you. If you want a better job, you have to invest in your skill set to qualify for that promotion, and then go after it. We all have the capacity to come up higher. God has given you tremendous opportunities, and that's why you can't focus on what everyone else has. If you do, you'll miss out on what God has especially for you! It doesn't matter where you've come from; it doesn't matter where you are right now. If you'll step out and be faithful with what is in your hand today, God will bless it and multiply it and take you places that you never dreamed.
Today, instead of focusing on what you don't have, look inside at what you do have. Make the decision to cultivate the dry, fallow areas of your life. Begin to water and invest in the areas where you want to see change. As you tend to what the Lord has given you, I believe He'll pour out His blessing and favor on you, and you'll see your life flourish beyond anything you could have ever hoped or dreamed.
__
So, for lack of better words, (since they've been said already)...
GET AFTER IT!
No, but I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation.
For those of you who know me well, you know that, albeit good characteristics, I'm also: A cynic; a realist; and often times a pessimist <-- what I like to pawn off as "realism." :)
So, why the upbeat attitude today? Well, the countdown has begun. The horrid anticipation has ended. We're already one day closer to them being home (just ignore the fact that there may be 254 more of "days" like these.)
Don't get me wrong-- I'll have bad days. Really, really bad days. When worry, negativity, and anger will set in. I've already had a tinge of bitterness yesterday. I was jealous that so many of you out there were enjoying your Saturdays with friends and families-- doing fun, light-hearted activities. I wanted to stomp my feet like a temper-tantrumed 4 year old, stating for all to hear: THIS. IS. NOT. FAIR.
Then I stumbled into some perspective today on Joel Osteen's Blog. The grass isn't always greener. I figured if it helped me, it could help anyone out there. So here is my Sunday Share. (The full blog is available on www.joelosteen.com)
__
I don't personally believe the grass is greener on the other side; I believe the grass is greener where you water it. In other words, we have to tend to the things that are inside of us if we want to see our lives blossom and grow. If you want better relationships, you have to invest in the people around you. If you want a better job, you have to invest in your skill set to qualify for that promotion, and then go after it. We all have the capacity to come up higher. God has given you tremendous opportunities, and that's why you can't focus on what everyone else has. If you do, you'll miss out on what God has especially for you! It doesn't matter where you've come from; it doesn't matter where you are right now. If you'll step out and be faithful with what is in your hand today, God will bless it and multiply it and take you places that you never dreamed.
Today, instead of focusing on what you don't have, look inside at what you do have. Make the decision to cultivate the dry, fallow areas of your life. Begin to water and invest in the areas where you want to see change. As you tend to what the Lord has given you, I believe He'll pour out His blessing and favor on you, and you'll see your life flourish beyond anything you could have ever hoped or dreamed.
__
So, for lack of better words, (since they've been said already)...
GET AFTER IT!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Take 2.
It's already been a few hours since the "see ya laters." I'm actually quite shocked at how strong and "together" I am at this time. I keep wondering why: Is it because it's not the 1st deployment I've been through? Is it because I'm "more wise" or "more mature" than I was in August 2009? Is it because I'm crazy? In denial?
I'll go with the more wise AND mature. :)
It's been exactly 18 months and 4 days since the last set of "see ya's." At that time, I knew no one. And nothing. And I also drove back to Georgia after a very long evening or "hurry up and wait."
Tonight was different. I knew people. I offered tissues to people. (Take note that I didn't need any.) I played with big guns. I shared laughs. We didn't drag it out. There is an unspoken understanding of what needs to be done:
Stay Safe. Get Home.
That's all.
My 8pm coffee and 10pm wine now have me wired. Thus, I decided to reflect back at my last blog, "An Army of One... Year." I remember that I wrote my first post, some 100 days after Drew's last deployment, reflecting on my first set of "see ya's."
Although lengthy, I thought I'd share since I have all the time in the world. I figured if you're reading this now, so do you:
___
Until next time,
HOOAH
I'll go with the more wise AND mature. :)
It's been exactly 18 months and 4 days since the last set of "see ya's." At that time, I knew no one. And nothing. And I also drove back to Georgia after a very long evening or "hurry up and wait."
Tonight was different. I knew people. I offered tissues to people. (Take note that I didn't need any.) I played with big guns. I shared laughs. We didn't drag it out. There is an unspoken understanding of what needs to be done:
Stay Safe. Get Home.
That's all.
My 8pm coffee and 10pm wine now have me wired. Thus, I decided to reflect back at my last blog, "An Army of One... Year." I remember that I wrote my first post, some 100 days after Drew's last deployment, reflecting on my first set of "see ya's."
Although lengthy, I thought I'd share since I have all the time in the world. I figured if you're reading this now, so do you:
___
I love to write. I've loved to write for as long as I can remember. When I was in 2nd grade, I got sent to my room, more than likely for "talking back." While enduring my punishment, I wrote a poem about "saving the trees" and showed it to my mom. Her response: "Oh, that's nice; which book did you copy that out of."
Shel Silverstein was my favorite.
I've always wanted to "write a blog." Only thing stopping me was.... substance. I didn't want to be one of those people to divulge in a blog that "I ate mac and cheese for lunch today" or "OH. EM. G., can you believe that about Tiger Woods?" That's what Facebook is for. ;-)
It wasn't until this afternoon that I decided I would explore the World of Blogging. (Do you know that "Blog" is short for "Web Log?") I happened to read an article about a woman that blogged about her husband who was injured during the War. He lost his legs, and after a short time, he lost his life. She used the blog to inform her family and friends of his status, good or bad. A few readers turned into a few thousand-- family for life. Although she lost her husband at the end of it all, she was able to document her pain, her fears..... her life.
Now don't take it the wrong way; I'm not writing this blog for anyone to necessarily read. I'd be happy if it served as my release, my escape. I believe writing is absolutely, positively, the best way to express everything and anything. Now if you choose to follow me, I can't promise daily reads; I can't promise things you care about or agree with, but I can promise that it will give you something to do for about 5 minutes. =)
Now you probably have an inkling of what I plan to write about-- by knowing me or by reading my Blog's Title: "Army of One.... Year."
So, this is where the substance kicks in.
When I met my boyfriend, Drew, at a bar (out of all places!) in Panama City, FL on May 23, 2008, I would have never, EVER imagined that I'd be sitting here today as: 1) His girlfriend; 2) An ARMY girlfriend for that matter; 3) Enduring (as best as I can) a deployment to war-ridden Afghanistan.
Today isn't Day 1; if it were, I could write about how, 135 days later, I still get that lump in my throat when I remember hugging him one last time on August 21, 2009. How I remember, after waiting 6 hours for him to leave, I travelled back to the hotel room that he once occupied, and I could still smell him on the pillow. And, at that point, I've never felt so alone in my life.
But I wouldn't change it for the world.
Now, 135 days later, I've learned (a little) about being involved with the military and how to cope with being involved with the military. And instead of worshiping movie stars or rock stars or porn stars (for some of you!), I hope, like me, you learn to truly empathize and honor 1) those who serve our Country AND 2) their families. I have more respect for the wives of Soldiers who have babies, raise babies, work, maintain the house, AND live with that constant fear that their hubby might not ever make it back home.
They are heroes, too.
So in closing, while my Blog, "Army of One...Year," will share a plethora of opinions and feelings about the War, it will also include heart-felt quotes, songs, poems, and anecdotes that will help me continue to pass my time and express the loneliness, pain, love, and appreciation that I'm experiencing during my first, but certainly not last, deployment.
Shel Silverstein was my favorite.
I've always wanted to "write a blog." Only thing stopping me was.... substance. I didn't want to be one of those people to divulge in a blog that "I ate mac and cheese for lunch today" or "OH. EM. G., can you believe that about Tiger Woods?" That's what Facebook is for. ;-)
It wasn't until this afternoon that I decided I would explore the World of Blogging. (Do you know that "Blog" is short for "Web Log?") I happened to read an article about a woman that blogged about her husband who was injured during the War. He lost his legs, and after a short time, he lost his life. She used the blog to inform her family and friends of his status, good or bad. A few readers turned into a few thousand-- family for life. Although she lost her husband at the end of it all, she was able to document her pain, her fears..... her life.
Now don't take it the wrong way; I'm not writing this blog for anyone to necessarily read. I'd be happy if it served as my release, my escape. I believe writing is absolutely, positively, the best way to express everything and anything. Now if you choose to follow me, I can't promise daily reads; I can't promise things you care about or agree with, but I can promise that it will give you something to do for about 5 minutes. =)
Now you probably have an inkling of what I plan to write about-- by knowing me or by reading my Blog's Title: "Army of One.... Year."
So, this is where the substance kicks in.
When I met my boyfriend, Drew, at a bar (out of all places!) in Panama City, FL on May 23, 2008, I would have never, EVER imagined that I'd be sitting here today as: 1) His girlfriend; 2) An ARMY girlfriend for that matter; 3) Enduring (as best as I can) a deployment to war-ridden Afghanistan.
Today isn't Day 1; if it were, I could write about how, 135 days later, I still get that lump in my throat when I remember hugging him one last time on August 21, 2009. How I remember, after waiting 6 hours for him to leave, I travelled back to the hotel room that he once occupied, and I could still smell him on the pillow. And, at that point, I've never felt so alone in my life.
But I wouldn't change it for the world.
Now, 135 days later, I've learned (a little) about being involved with the military and how to cope with being involved with the military. And instead of worshiping movie stars or rock stars or porn stars (for some of you!), I hope, like me, you learn to truly empathize and honor 1) those who serve our Country AND 2) their families. I have more respect for the wives of Soldiers who have babies, raise babies, work, maintain the house, AND live with that constant fear that their hubby might not ever make it back home.
They are heroes, too.
So in closing, while my Blog, "Army of One...Year," will share a plethora of opinions and feelings about the War, it will also include heart-felt quotes, songs, poems, and anecdotes that will help me continue to pass my time and express the loneliness, pain, love, and appreciation that I'm experiencing during my first, but certainly not last, deployment.
Until next time,
HOOAH
___
Hell. Maybe I haven't changed much at all. :)
The moral of this story is:
Deployments suck. Bottom line. Take 1. Take 2. Or Take 10. They suck.
But, the most important lesson today:
You may not have control over the stressors in you life, but you DO have control over how you respond to them.
Friday, February 24, 2012
A Damn Few Can Go All the Way
I love quotes. I actually have a book which, the size of a large dictionary, is properly named Quotationary. If you know me well enough, you'll know that I love using quotes on the regular. I love applying quotes to everyday life-- dissecting the symbolism and underlying meaning. (I think I was an English major in another life...)
Because my life is a relatively-open book, (and if you've read my Facebook at all the past 12 hours), you know that Drew and I are spending our last, full day together before yet another field trip to Afghanistan.
We just returned home after catching a matinee viewing of Act of Valor on this stormy evening. Through tear-soaked eyes, I absorbed the last two words on the black screen that ended the movie: Damn Few.
Damn Few. How can two, relatively powerless words carry such meaning and worth?
A damn, few of us will ever understand. But I can speculate....
Brotherhood. Loyalty. Honor. Fidelity. Courage. <-- Those last 3 are a shout out to 4-73!
On our way home, I asked Drew, "What exactly does 'Damn Few' mean?" He stated he believed it's because there are only a few individuals that can proudly call themselves Navy Seals.
As we entered Fort Bragg, the guy at the gate checked our IDs. Something we do day in and day out, without much thought. If you're one of the 81,000 people that drive through the gates daily, I'm certain you've heard the following:
All the Way.
The motto for the 82nd Airborne Division.
We all have quotes, mottos, or slogans that mean something to Us and our Brethren.
But All the Way, although close to my heart, is something we can all follow on the daily.
Stand tall. Stay proud. Give it all you got. Fight hard. Love harder.
Go All the Way.
Everyday.
Because my life is a relatively-open book, (and if you've read my Facebook at all the past 12 hours), you know that Drew and I are spending our last, full day together before yet another field trip to Afghanistan.
We just returned home after catching a matinee viewing of Act of Valor on this stormy evening. Through tear-soaked eyes, I absorbed the last two words on the black screen that ended the movie: Damn Few.
Damn Few. How can two, relatively powerless words carry such meaning and worth?
A damn, few of us will ever understand. But I can speculate....
Brotherhood. Loyalty. Honor. Fidelity. Courage. <-- Those last 3 are a shout out to 4-73!
On our way home, I asked Drew, "What exactly does 'Damn Few' mean?" He stated he believed it's because there are only a few individuals that can proudly call themselves Navy Seals.
As we entered Fort Bragg, the guy at the gate checked our IDs. Something we do day in and day out, without much thought. If you're one of the 81,000 people that drive through the gates daily, I'm certain you've heard the following:
All the Way.
The motto for the 82nd Airborne Division.
We all have quotes, mottos, or slogans that mean something to Us and our Brethren.
But All the Way, although close to my heart, is something we can all follow on the daily.
Stand tall. Stay proud. Give it all you got. Fight hard. Love harder.
Go All the Way.
Everyday.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Greatest Love of All
Although today's title is in memoriam of Ms. Whitney Houston and in honor of Valentine's Day, it proves to be quite applicable to the Army Life... everyday.
We all experience difference types of loves in different types of lives.
But If you haven't had the conversation with your spouse regarding....
Count your blessings daily, people. No matter how terrible your day's been; no matter how complacent you are with your life; no matter... what.
You never know what tomorrow will bring.
"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." ~ Mother Teresa
We all experience difference types of loves in different types of lives.
But If you haven't had the conversation with your spouse regarding....
- Power of Attorneys (because of a loooong absence)
- Wills
- Freezing of Sperm (TMI??)
- Burial Plans
Count your blessings daily, people. No matter how terrible your day's been; no matter how complacent you are with your life; no matter... what.
You never know what tomorrow will bring.
"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." ~ Mother Teresa
Monday, February 6, 2012
Eureka?
It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write. Many of you already know how much I love to write. I’ve always thought as myself as “creative” with my words and thoughts. Unfortunately, it proves to be a perishable skill. Since it’s been quite some time, and seeing as we all rely heavily on the inundated world of “200 characters or less,” I feel that I’ve lost that natural flow of putting pen to paper.
I hope to find my way… again.
I had a friend over Christmas tell me that she enjoyed reading my blog when I wrote, “An Army of One…Year,” back in 2010 during Drew’s last deployment. I told her that I’d like to write again, but I was waiting for a “theme” to come to mind. Well, nearly 2 months later and not one concrete theme, interest, or topic had sparked much pursuit. (Pretty lame, huh?)
I’ve pondered over many hot baths and many sleepless nights, “What makes me different?” “What will motivate me or drive passion?” I overlooked the obvious.
I am the 1%.
And I’m not talking about the OCCUPY Protesters.
Tom Brokaw stated that, “less than 1 percent of the American population is bearing 100 percent of the burden of battle.” He was referring to the Military.
I represent the Military Family.
I don’t need a theme or an interest; I just need to write about my Life.
Duh.
A life that few will live but many can respect. A life with the usual ups and down, but with unique curves and twists. A life filled with joy and sadness.
Some days I’ll be positive and uplifting. Other days I’ll be a cynic. Some days I’ll be strong and confident. Other days I’ll be small and anxious.
Some days you’ll understand, but some days it will be exclusive to the 1%.
I invite you to read and join me on this journey. I can’t guarantee much, but I can guarantee to occupy your mind for a few minutes every week.
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