Bottle Full of Sunshine

I finally stocked up on a few bottles of wine today. It's been one of those weeks where I've needed them but had none in the house. Can you believe it!?! I know... how blasphemous of me!!! My good friend, Stacy, reminded me of my negligence almost like it should be the 11th Commandment:

Thou shall always keep wine in thou house.  

But anyways, this post isn't necessarily about my lushly ways. But all this talk about wine did remind me of the common saying:

Wine gets better with age.

Then I thought... "And so do I."

Yesterday, I noticed that it marked 30 days before my next birthday. 30 days before I celebrate the last year in my 20s. Wow.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. And working hard. And living life... to its fullest. I've spent a lot of time this week thinking back to the beginning of my 20s decade. I'll spare you all the details of how much fun I had in college; how many friends I've made... and sadly, how many friends I've lost. I never thought a person could change as much as I have in the last 10 years. I'm the first to admit that I thought I knew it all at 21. And at 25. But boy, was I wrong!!! And for those of you who know me well, being wrong is not something I admit a lot. :)

I will always remember one of my female bosses that I had in my early 20s. She told me that "as a woman, you won't truly discover who you really are until you're 27." And she couldn't have been more right. Sure, the age of 27 might fluctuate a year or two, depending on the person, but I didn't truly know myself until about then. I found myself. And I found love. True love. And I found a new life I would have never imagined I'd live. And I found new friends. Different friends. A sisterhood. And I found new challenges. New highs. And new lows.

But through it all, I've never felt more:

Confident. Proud. Aware. Full of life.

And I can't wait to see what the next decade holds. Even if it involves more and more people calling me "ma'am." 

Then strangely enough... I opened my Positive Quotes for Every Day book, only to find this entry today:

Life Improves with Age
I feel like an ostrich who has finally pulled its head out of the sand and loves what it sees... I love getting older; things get easier every day." ~ Jane Powell

We've all got to believe that.

And if you don't, and you're having a tough time in life... try hard to envision that it can and will get better.

And then drink a bottle of wine. That always helps too. 

God is Great, Beer is Good, and People are Really, Really, REALLY Crazy

Is it just me, or do people seems to be losing their minds more and more every day? For lack of proper scientific terms... people are BAT CRAZY! I found inspiration to write tonight after watching the video of the Jet Blue pilot losing his marbles on a plane.

I watch, read, and listen to the news multiple times a day, and Life just doesn't seem to be as simple; as enjoyable; as "normal" as it were in the "past."

But, I totally feel like an outsider looking in-- watching the circus from outside the big top. Maybe from the parking lot. Hell, maybe from across town.

I feel strong, level-headed, and a lot more normal than all the crazies walking the Earth. And I honestly think I owe a lot of my (somewhat) stoicism to the One Percent.

Let's have a lesson:

The Stoics provided a unified account of the world, consisting of formal logic, non-dualistic physics and naturalistic ethics. Of these, they emphasized ethics as the main focus of human knowledge, though their logical theories were of more interest for later philosophers.
Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason (logos). A primary aspect of Stoicism involves improving the individual’s ethical and moral well-being: "Virtue consists in a will that is in agreement with Nature."^[6] This principle also applies to the realm of interpersonal relationships; "to be free from anger, envy, and jealousy,"^[7] and to accept even slaves as "equals of other men, because all men alike are products of nature."^[8]
The Stoic ethic espouses a deterministic perspective; in regards to those who lack Stoic virtue, Cleanthes once opined that the wicked man is "like a dog tied to a cart, and compelled to go wherever it goes."^[6] A Stoic of virtue, by contrast, would amend his will to suit the world and remain, in the words of Epictetus, "sick and yet happy, in peril and yet happy, dying and yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy,"^[7] thus positing a "completely autonomous" individual will, and at the same time a universe that is "a rigidly deterministic single whole."

Thanks, Wiki. Well said, and let's hope, 100% credible.

But anyways, the whole point of this entry is for all of us to remember that "it could be worse." We all have the days where we throw ourselves a huge pity party. We all have the days where we want to pull our hair out, slap a co-worker, and move to a deserted island. (i.e. ME, today.) But really, how bad do we really have it compared to others?

And if you're feeling sorry for yourself, turn on the news. Put yourself in someone else's shoes who is less fortunate (or more crazy!) than you are. 

Try to keep a level head... no matter what. Be virtuous. Be the better person.

Because I think we've hit our CrAzY benchmark for a while.

Sunday Share: 3/25/12

I didn't have to look far to find my Sunday Share for today. A friend gave me a nice gift the week after Drew deployed. It's called Positive Quotes for Every Day. And that is exactly how I start my day each morning.

It's a collection of the greatest words from some of the world's most thoughtful, creative people.

And after a wonderful day with some great Army Wives, I thought I wouldn't have the energy (again!) to write my Sunday blog.

But then I remembered back to what I read this morning, and I thought it was too perfect...and too easy not to share.  

Every single person at the Baby Shower today has a loved one deployed. Everyone had to experience the same heartache of saying goodbye, and she carries on each day with the same worry and concerns. Lots of negative emotions, right? 

Yet, we spent the entire day together laughing and experiencing joy... despite our circumstances. Something in which I take pride-- something that few others will experience like the One Percent.

So, without further ado, I present you with today's Sunday Share:

March 25
A Joyful Outlook
"On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined!" is my motto, whether there's any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine." ~ Mark Twain

Today I will keep smiling, no matter what. A positive outlook is good for my health and well-being, and you never know when something wonderful is just around the corner.

Friends Are Toriffic!

In the military life, you make friends quickly... and you "lose" them even quicker. But even if  when they leave in the physical sense, there is a lasting bond that will live on.

In my year and a half of living the Real Housewives of Ft. Bragg (Bravo Network- you need to come see for yourselves!), I've met some of the most amazing ladies. But, I'm sorry Miss Jackson: our friendships won't be the type in which we live on the same block forever. And ever. Forever ever!

People leave. A lot.

And it sucks.

But our bonds, no matter how short-lived in the physical sense, seem to create some of the strongest friendships I've ever had. Exclusive to the One Percent.

So, I'd like to share an excerpt from the book The Prophet about this very exact thing:

When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

So, this one's for you, Tori. Best of luck to you out West! I can't wait to see those beautiful mountains as interpreted through your art.

And I know that whether you're near or far, we'll still be making our climb together.  

Sunday Share: A Day Late

Yup. It happened only a few weeks into my blogging responsibility. The unpredictable events in Life prohibited me from having the energy or will power to blog my Sunday Share yesterday.


But it's never too late to get after it.


So I figured I'd share today what I was thinking yesterday.


But first, let's talk about rollercoasters.


I've never been a huge fan. But I've never been against them either. I've had my share of fun frequenting Six Flags or Universal Studios over the years.


What does intrigue me about rollercoasters is the mixed emotions that one can experience in a short amount of time:


Fear. Exhilaration. Excitement. Anxiety. Stress.


Eustress in particular.

Stress that is deemed healthful or giving one the feeling of fulfilment. Ever since learning about Eustress at some point during my schooling, I've loved to organize Life's stressors into eustress or distress categories. And I am one of those crazy people that love the rush from procrastinating on a huge project; love the nervous-stomach-feeling when having to present in front of large groups of people; love the exhilaration from jumping out of an airplane. But, do you know what all of the above have in common? I have control over those situations; I am able to somewhat control the stressor and very much so control the way I react to them. What I loathe to the utmost degree in life is distress. (great pain, anxiety, or sorrow; acute physical or mental suffering; affliction; trouble.) Things I cannot control. Things I cannot prevent. Maintain. Or fix. And yesterday, my friends, I was in major distress. I, of course, will spare major specifics, but if you know me well, then you already know the 3 bouts of bad news that I received in a very short amount of time last night. All things I can't... and will never... control. And although I maintained a stoic composure most of the evening, I was a mess inside. And when I was driving home after a dear friend's going away dinner,  I shed my first tears, since Drew left 3 weeks ago. I know they're expected. As I mentioned in my inaugural post: I'll have good days and bad days. Days of strength and days of weakness. But, on a positive note... right at my very moment of weakness, I heard the most appropriate song on the radio: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone Damn, Ms. Clarkson... you're right. And thank you for the reminder!!! Worry about the things you can control; forget about the things you can't. Bottom line. Keep living your Life. Be strong. Fight. Have hope. Sure, it's a given your Life will be like a Rollercoster. There will be ups and downs; moments of anticipation and fear; moments you're high and moments you're low. The choice is yours whether or not you take the front seat, buckle up, and open your eyes. But regardless... all of us are in for one hell of a ride.

It's All About the Benjamins, Baby?

Most of us work hard. Most of us are used, abused, and underappreciated in the workplace in some way or another. Although, all of us want a pay raise, I'm sure only a few of us actually deserve it.

I just wrapped up a 12 day work-streak, and although I'm exhausted to the point where my fingers don't want to type these letters, I truly believe it could be worse.

But this isn't about me.

For those of us who have had a spouse deploy in the last month, we've seen our first "deployment paycheck" this week. I've never really understood why people claim they "make so much money" during the deployment. Civilians who assume deployment earnings are "good" earnings would probably be shocked at how diminutive they truly are.

Sure, your paychecks are bigger. Of course, your earnings are tax free. Yes, they get a minuscule (now pro-rated) Hazardous Duty Pay. Yeah, there is Family Separation Pay.

But think about it...

... What is the true Return on Investment?

The military invest more than any of us would for some extra chump change.

Long time periods away from their family. Missing their baby's first words. Or first steps. Missing holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries alike. Missing St. Patty's Day Weekend with friends. Missing happy moments and sad moments. Missing milestone after milestone... I could go on and on, but I won't.

And, for what return?

I guess I went through 6 years of business school so I could relate a deployment to a financial equation. But it's simple math, people. Is the return really worth the investment?

Yeah, I know Soldiers "signed up for this." It was their choice to enter the Military. And don't get me wrong: I'm an advocate. Spokesperson. Supporter of the Military and the great benefits it entails. I'm part of the proud Brotherhood that the Soldiers and Families share.

And it wasn't even the paycheck that I deemed as a "blog worthy" topic. It was an article I stumbled across tonight while click.click.clicking around:

10 Insanely Overpaid Public Employees

Strangely enough, several of the people that made the list work in a prison.

Uhm, what? You're telling me that some of the top paid people in this country make their earnings off housing our criminals?!?

That's what motivated me to write tonight. We reward the most asinine behaviors and industries in this country. I'll never understand why athletes, movie stars, reality TV "stars," and now... a Prison Dentist... can make so much money, while our Soldiers (and teachers, social workers, etc) don't make $h*t.

This realization really put things into perspective for me.

No matter how bad of a day we've had at work; no matter how small we think our paychecks are...

... The Grass (and someone else's money) is Always Greener.  :)

On the Mend

After I ripped a major hole in my pants yesterday, I did some thinking. Besides some missing fabric from my backside, I realized I missing something (or someone) else. You may be wondering how I can make a connection between missing some fabric and how missing my other half are related.

Well, let's start here:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. (Duh. My apologies for sounding so trite.)

But absence also makes you realize how much you rely and count on someone else... a true partner in Life.

I'll probably go buy a new pair of pants instead of spending 5 minutes to sew mine. But why, you may ask?

Well, because Drew's not here to sew them! He's also not here to make the bed flawlessly every day. And take the dogs out when I'm too lazy to get off the couch. Or vacuum every Saturday. Or help me carry the groceries inside.

It's the little things that he does for me that make me miss him even more each day.

So, the lesson here is that we ALL need to learn to be completely independent and do for ourselves in the absence of our loved ones AND appreciate who and what we have. Not just military wives. So get after it: Give yourself some goals and work towards them.

For me... Well, I guess I need to learn how to sew.

Or... I may just wait for Drew to get home. Because at that time, he can mend my ripped pants... AND mend the half of my heart that had been missing. :)

Sunday Share: 3/11/12

Ahhh, Life.

Often times, Life gets in the way of Living.

For example: I have all intentions to write my blog more than once a week, with plenty to share, but Life has gotten in the way.

What else is new?

Drew has been gone 15 days today, and I've lived the Golden Rule of the Deployment Life to its fullest:

Stay Busy.

Between work, extra-curricular work, volunteer work, working out, and workin' it! with my girls, Life is pretty jam-packed. But the fact that all of my activities listed include Work is completely intentional.

No matter what we all do, day in and day out, it involves effort, commitment, and... work. Whether it's to make a living, make a difference, or make memories, Life eats up a lot of time.

After my whine session on Friday, which resulted after I couldn't do something that I wanted to do with my time, I started to think about my priorities in Life.

And after a lot of your input, I remembered the importance of saying "NO."

After this light bulb went off, I remembered an excerpt I read a few years ago in Robin Mead's Book: Morning Sunshine! How to Radiate Confidence and Feel It Too! So, the scholar that I am (or pretend to be) dug out the book and looked back at what she had to say.

A few of you already know that I've got a major Girl Crush on Robin Meade. So anything that she may say, I'd probably believe with admiration. But I truly thought that this "lesson" hit close to home:

Do you allow yourself to be a doormat? Why is it that we feel the need to qualify the word no? Think about it. When someone asks you to head up the silent auction committee for the school fundraiser on behalf of the PTO, you might answer yes. Period. "Yes" is your complete answer. It needs no "because x, y, or z." But when you have to decline, most of us feel we have to give an excuse. I got it! I'll tell 'em my Aunt LuLu just got out of the hospital after gastric bypass surgery, and it's my turn to watch her lose weight!

Then we spend precious time fretting over how the excuse, lame or not, will be received.

My co-anchor on the Monday-through-Friday morning shift in Chicago used to say, "Robin, 'NO' is a complete sentence. You just need to say no." Here's why he would tell me that: I was honored to get numerous requests for public appearances around town. Everybody from big organizations to little neighborhood clubs would ask, "Could you emcee our event this Friday night?" or "Could you do the starting lineup for our little run on Saturday morning?" And I always said yes. I wanted to be liked, and I didn't value my own needs enough to say no.

As a result, I would be booked from Friday night to Sunday afternoon and never truly think about the impact on my marriage or my energy level. I couldn't say no to viewers, and I couldn't say no to people in the newsroom.

In other words, I didn't have the confidence it took to say no.

###

My girlfriend, Robin, hit the nail on the head. We all need to remember to muster up the strength to say "NO." I've decided to commit at least one night a week to just ME. No phone calls to family or friends; no Facebook; no work or after-work commitments. So whether I want to catch up on episodes of Downton Abbey, or down a bottle of wine after finding some excuse to avoid the gym... I will.

I encourage you to do the same.

And, lastly, I apologize that my blog entries have been few and far between.

But, you know.. I had to say NO to something. :)

Sunday Share: 3/4/12

We all need a good kick in the pants every once in a while to get motivated. Well, today has been one of those days where I tell myself, "Ok, get off the couch at noon and get on the treadmill." Well, more than 5 hours later, here I am...

...Still on the couch.

I'd figure I could find some motivation and productivity in writing my Sunday Share for the week.

And quite a week it has been. It's amazing how many ups and downs can exist in a person's life in a week's time. Throw a deployment in the mix, and a life can reach new highs and lows that most cannot imagine.

I don't plan to go in every detail of the goods and bads of the week, but I wanted to share some morsels (morsels.. I love that word!) of wisdom that I found and deemed worthy enough of sharing.

The inspirational blog entry can be found on Meant to be Happy, which was named the "Winner of the Best Personal Development Blog" of 2011.

The appropriate entry title, "Faith Moves Mountains. Doubt Creates Them," was like a slap in the face. Doubt and worry filled my thoughts this week.

But Faith eased them.

I've had a wave of support come in from all walks of life this week, and every person had Faith that Drew would make it home safe and sound at the end of his deployment.  

So, while I accept and admit that Doubt will try to enter my thoughts regularly, I know that Faith will show Her face and save me from any lasting, negative consequences.

And if I weren't motivated enough by this discovery, that damn Martin Luther King Jr. had to leave me with this:

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

I think he's trying to hint at something with his "steps" and "staircases."

Ok, MLK... you win.

Off to the treadmill I go....